Feet: Whoa whoa…what the fuck, why are we moving so quickly, are we being chased? Is this farmers carry? Eyes, what the fuck is going on?
Eyes: I don’t know, the scenery isn’t changing, were standing still
Feet: We definitely aren’t fucking standing still here! Jesus H. Christ what is this? Are we running now? HOLY FUCK HELP! This is an awful farmers carry!
Arms: Negative on farmers carry, no loading here and we aren’t about to be separated from shoulder. We are being windmilled about in some strange fashion.
Heart: Increasing rate to 120 beats per minute
Lungs: Uh….we can only maintain this pace for maybe another 30 seconds
Feet: Guys! What the fuck! We’re in lifting shoes, this shit isn’t supposed to happen to us any more, someone please tell us what the fuck is happening
Ears: I hear shitty top 40s…
Feet: That means we’re in a commercial gym. Is he doing sprints? I can do sprints, maybe two of them.
Heart: Increasing rate to 140 beats per minute
Eyes: Negative, we still aren’t moving forward
Feet: This just doesn’t make any fucking sense!
Glutes: Hey, I know I’m not really involved in all this but I just want to say I appreciate all you guys do and I think we’re a really good tea…
Feet: Shut the FUCK up ass, people are dying here!
Arms: God feet you are such pussies. All you do is absorb impact and you’re fucking whining like you actually do something around here.
Heart: Increasing rate to 160 beats per minute. Infarction warning issued.
Glutes: You know, I don’t appreciate this tone. I work very hard on squats and deads and all I ask for is that we take a moment to think about how we can work better together.
Sweat Glands: Open all apertures to 100%
Eyes: Hey! Check that shit out in front of us Gonads!
Gonads: What? Someone call me? We’re not getting a lot of blood down here…check back later.
Heart: Increasing rate to 180 beats per minute. Infarction imminent
Feet: Hey, has anyone bothered to ask brain about this?
Brain: 2 more minutes until 1/3 of the way there, then 20 more minutes. 30 seconds…31 seconds….32 seconds…33 seconds
Arms: What the fuck is he doing up there? And what is with all this goddamn swinging?
Lungs: WE’RE FUCKING DYING HERE!
Heart: commence shutdown
Eyes: were losing it, it’s all black
Feet: Brain! For the love of god! Stop this madness
